When you just don't have the words.....

Back in July I posted about my dear friend losing her husband in a plane crash right here. I must say there hasn't been a day that goes by that I don't think of her and pray for her. Shortly after her husband's death I remember laying down to sleep and thinking of Allie laying down knowing Mark was gone. Even though he knew the Lord and is now in Heaven - just that awful feeling of not having him physically present anymore. Then I would wake up and it would hit me again. Dear Allie is waking up and realizing it was not a dream, but her new reality.

The next several weeks I would just consciously realize how often I just need to talk to Brian, e-mail him, be with him....etc. I know Brian gets a kick out of this, but I've been known to tell him that I just need to be in the same room as he is even if we are zoned out doing our own thing.

And then there are the obvious things that are devoted to many of our husbands that we might take for granted: Taking the vehicles to the mechanic, calling the plumber, mowing the lawn, fixing the fence, changing those light bulbs, on and on....

Then there is the way our husbands are with our children. Not enough room to share all he is to our kids. He is the "fun Dad" throwing them in the pool, tickling them, nightly wrestling matches. The scholar who looks over their math and plans to spend a couple of hours at home, in the morning, to study History with them. So involved. To top it off - the Dad who tried to share scripture reading over Christ's death on the cross and couldn't continue because of his own emotions. These kids see their Dad as everything and then some. So do I...

I know Allie felt this way about Mark....

It's nights like these when I can't sleep and I pray for my friend. I have no words for her. What words are adequate because I know she felt for her husband as I do for mine.

Well... the Lord was merciful and brought to mind a special college memory with Allie. Each night we would go to sleep listening to either Michael Card's SLEEP SOUND IN JESUS or Pachelbel's Canon. I know....such different listening selections.

Allie and I were positively smitten with Michael Card's lullaby c.d. When we had fears, tears, and heartaches - it was such a comfort to hear the songs of sleeping sound in Jesus as He holds us and watches over us.

I decided to go to Amazon and play some of the songs. Talk about "cry me a river". It just brought back those sweet memories of college and how the Lord spoke to both of us with this c.d.

When I just don't know what to say. When the Lord places Allie on my heart and I grieve.... I'm so thankful this was brought to my mind. I'll be sending this c.d. to Allie hoping it will bring her comfort. I think I'll be placing an order for myself as well...